Austintastic

AUSTIN (Texas) – Katie took me to a lesbian bar last night. We had finished dinner at the brand new Max’s Wine Dive in Austin and she wanted to check out the city’s gay scene. I guess it’s better than Boston’s. Is everything really bigger in Texas?

We ended up at the Rainbow Cattle Co. on West 5th Street. As Austin’s prime gay country-western dance hall, according to Frommer’s Review, the club entertains both gays and lesbians alike. But Thursday’s ladies’ night.

Didn’t really know what to expect walking in. As a reporter, I value the ability to acclimate myself quickly in even the most uncertain or awkward settings. Let’s just say last night was a humbling experience.

I think the bartender might have had a thing for me. He kept looking at me like this:

Whatever, we got cheap shots. But that wasn’t really what made my situation awkward. As a straight guy in a lesbian bar, I’m essentially the exact person these ladies came there not to see. Ahhh, the life of a lesbian’s wingman.

The oil wrestling broke the tension. A propeller beanie-wearing wrestling promoter set up a blowup pool in the center of the dance floor and filled it with oil. Willing lesbians had signed up to compete. And compete they did. I’ve uploaded the pictures to facebook, but they’re a little hard to make out (my iPhone has no flash).

The three gay black guys dancing in front of the mirror might have made my evening. This picture does not do them justice. But imagine NFL players in a group endzone dance. Only gayer.

Now we’re on the road to El Paso. I’m not sure if I can top this post, but I’ll give it my damnedest.


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